THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED...

I received by post, the issue of Antrang Sangini, a journal showcasing women's writings, and immediately began flipping through it, more interested in finding my own contribution in it, titled, Aarthik Swatantra, Ek Kadam Sashaktikaran ki Aur - Economic Freedom, a First Step to Empowerment. The curiosity was also fuelled by a desire to see how exactly did my Hindi read in print, since like many of us, and this I say with a huge amount of embarrassment, we have left our Hindi writing since the days when it was a compulsory subject in college.

But Divya Jain its editor, a remarkable woman who runs the magazine entirely on her own steam with virtually no economic support, was insistent. It had to be done in Hindi, the idea of writing the original in English leaving her to translate, too, she greeted with barely disguised reluctance.

And so here it was, this compilation of articles on the subject of Akeli Stri -Trasdi aur Takat - The Strength and Vulnerabilities of the Single Woman. In more empowered societies, it would be an anomaly to club the two attributes together for the single state, and even in upper crust India, some women are making the choice of remaining outside the great Indian matrimonial saga, whether not marrying at all or because of divorce or widowhood, and have made inroads in their chosen fields. But across the large spectrum of middle class India , with its traditional values and mindsets, the woman ( and in many cases the man too) who chooses to remain outside the fold, finds the going tough. But as they say, a given situation merits an equally determined response, so the tough too get going in such a scenario.

I was amazed and deeply touched to read some of the autobiographical narratives of many of the women, who have lived through life on their own terms, often amidst tremendous financial constraint and uncertainty; raised their children alone and often went for higher education only after life struck them in all its whimsicalities.

These stories held a special poignancy for me because of my interaction the very day, with a man who is in the publishing line and ironically, has begun publishing a popular series on Women's Studies.

During our discussion, he disclosed that he had three daughters and a son, all of them married excepting the youngest daughter, who was pursuing higher studies abroad. Intrigued, I asked him about the qualifications and professions of the other daughters, presuming that they too would have been given similar opportunites. He shook his head as he said, ' Well, the other two always fight with me, and ask why weren't they given the same freedom? The eldest was still in school , when I got a good match for her and got her married. What to do , it's not everyday that one gets a good match. Unfortunately she got widowed within the year ..and with not enough qualifications it's a difficult life for her. They treat her very badly, the in-laws, but it is not in my hands.

The second is a gemologist and is really good at assesing the quality of diamonds. I had hoped to get her married into a family, where her skills would find an outlet, and sure enough I got a good match in a jeweller's family. But even as the potential groom saw my daughter, he declared that he liked her but the marriage would only take place on the condition that she would not work. I had no choice,' Mr. Publisher continued, ' the social pressures to get a girl married, are tremendous in our community, I just had to get her married and I did. Though now when she expresses her frustration, I try to console her by saying: that very soon there will be a partition in the family business and your husband will turn around and seek your help. Meanwhile, have a happy family life.'

I turned away non plussed, caught in the throes of my own varied reactions... picked up the journal once again, my eyes arrested by its byline: Women's Struggles - an Endeavour for its Empowered Expression!