THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED...

I received by post, the issue of Antrang Sangini, a journal showcasing women's writings, and immediately began flipping through it, more interested in finding my own contribution in it, titled, Aarthik Swatantra, Ek Kadam Sashaktikaran ki Aur - Economic Freedom, a First Step to Empowerment. The curiosity was also fuelled by a desire to see how exactly did my Hindi read in print, since like many of us, and this I say with a huge amount of embarrassment, we have left our Hindi writing since the days when it was a compulsory subject in college.

But Divya Jain its editor, a remarkable woman who runs the magazine entirely on her own steam with virtually no economic support, was insistent. It had to be done in Hindi, the idea of writing the original in English leaving her to translate, too, she greeted with barely disguised reluctance.

And so here it was, this compilation of articles on the subject of Akeli Stri -Trasdi aur Takat - The Strength and Vulnerabilities of the Single Woman. In more empowered societies, it would be an anomaly to club the two attributes together for the single state, and even in upper crust India, some women are making the choice of remaining outside the great Indian matrimonial saga, whether not marrying at all or because of divorce or widowhood, and have made inroads in their chosen fields. But across the large spectrum of middle class India , with its traditional values and mindsets, the woman ( and in many cases the man too) who chooses to remain outside the fold, finds the going tough. But as they say, a given situation merits an equally determined response, so the tough too get going in such a scenario.

I was amazed and deeply touched to read some of the autobiographical narratives of many of the women, who have lived through life on their own terms, often amidst tremendous financial constraint and uncertainty; raised their children alone and often went for higher education only after life struck them in all its whimsicalities.

These stories held a special poignancy for me because of my interaction the very day, with a man who is in the publishing line and ironically, has begun publishing a popular series on Women's Studies.

During our discussion, he disclosed that he had three daughters and a son, all of them married excepting the youngest daughter, who was pursuing higher studies abroad. Intrigued, I asked him about the qualifications and professions of the other daughters, presuming that they too would have been given similar opportunites. He shook his head as he said, ' Well, the other two always fight with me, and ask why weren't they given the same freedom? The eldest was still in school , when I got a good match for her and got her married. What to do , it's not everyday that one gets a good match. Unfortunately she got widowed within the year ..and with not enough qualifications it's a difficult life for her. They treat her very badly, the in-laws, but it is not in my hands.

The second is a gemologist and is really good at assesing the quality of diamonds. I had hoped to get her married into a family, where her skills would find an outlet, and sure enough I got a good match in a jeweller's family. But even as the potential groom saw my daughter, he declared that he liked her but the marriage would only take place on the condition that she would not work. I had no choice,' Mr. Publisher continued, ' the social pressures to get a girl married, are tremendous in our community, I just had to get her married and I did. Though now when she expresses her frustration, I try to console her by saying: that very soon there will be a partition in the family business and your husband will turn around and seek your help. Meanwhile, have a happy family life.'

I turned away non plussed, caught in the throes of my own varied reactions... picked up the journal once again, my eyes arrested by its byline: Women's Struggles - an Endeavour for its Empowered Expression!

Hullabaloo in the Corridors of Power and Beyond

9th March has come and gone! And has left all of India's chattering classes expressing a complex mix of emotions. Some openly gleeful and celebratory while flashing their V signs; some reflective even as they savoured the results of this hard fought battle simmering for the last 14 years (perhaps sobered by the prospect of the uphill task that still lies ahead) and some expostulating their disagreement , chagrin and disquiet at this new imposition from the female brigade!!

Most of the media have spoken in favour of the Bill but as I smsed to a friend of mine in distant Europe who has been following its rocky passage, that yes, the men voted for it, aided no doubt by the gently swishing Whips for it to earn those near unanimous ayes, yet most who belong to the aam admi category , seemed a wee bit confused when quizzed about it in private.

'Uh uh...but why reserve seats at all? ' say the more articulate ones, while Mulayam or Laloo - having ushered Bahu and wife respectively in their 'reserved constituency' , thunder in their home turf , ' Hum ye bill hindustan me kabhi nahi aane denge', proud that they were the forces behind the 7 Boors of Indian politics being marshalled out of the Rajya Sabha!

And the aam aurat, what are her views? Most are happy, even if unsure how it is going to translate into altering their status - give them a choice to live , to study , to vote, to negotiate - in short empower!

Reservations about the women's Reservation Bill are plenty...but I want to cite the example of reservations at the Panchayati level , which is ushering a quiet but definite change in the political presence of the women there.

True, many women began as 'anghuta chaap' doing the haan and nahi to their male relative's bidding . There has even been that strangely coined term sarpanchpati, bestowed on the spouse of the sarpanch, to denote his overarching wisdom guiding his wife through the political labyrinth. Yet, there are many success stories, and these are multiplying despite the intermittently inevitable or inevitably intermittent hiccups!

Talking about the realities at the grassroot level...I would like to share my experience about an interaction with a dalit woman sarpanch.

We were holding a workshop on HIV/AIDS Awareness , in Patna, where many of the participants had come from Madhubani and Sitamarhi districts in Bihar.

There were 20 partipants in all, both men and women, but as it often happens the men monopolised the mike much longer than the women. During the course of the 2 day workshop there was this one woman, who intrigued me. Though introduced as the sarpanch of a village in Madhubani district, she spoke little and sat mostly with the veil drawn over her face.

The other participants, who had by then lumped her with the various labels which normally colour our perceptions: dalit, woman , backward etc., paid little attention to her.

However during the final session of the workshop which was interactive, everyone was requird to speak about how they intended to take the campaign against HIV/AIDS forward in their own area. While many came up with predicatable answers, when it came to the turn of our veiled woman sarpanch , we were in for a surprise.

She drew back her veil, sat up straighter and began sharing her ideas in a voice, that was far from the timid diffidence we had associated with her for so long. She talked about the work she had been doing in taking up cudgels for the women of her area, whose complaints against crime or rape was never lodged at the local police station. Lady sarpanch not only illustrated with expletives -laced language about how she had forced the police to pay attention to the women's complaints, but then went on to give her very thought out plan about how she intended to involve the people from her area, to spread the message against HIV/AIDS.

But for reservation, Lady sarpanch would not have been sitting at a podium where her views would be heard or her methods earn our appreciative nods. The argument holds true for our democracy as well.